Monday, May 13, 2013

Feeling Like Giving Up

This afternoon I received a video link from a friend and I didn't watch it tonight until after my day began falling apart. As many of my days go... I start doing so good, focusing of positives, and then BAM something bad happens. Some piece of bad news is dropped on me. 

Today I received a call from my nurse saying, they were excited that my levels were higher than last month (yes great I know) BUT.... (There is always a but) Dr. Swanson would like Jon and you to come in and discuss your options with him as your cyst is kinda in the way right and we need to talk to you about this in more detail. So....... I now get to wait until Friday to find out that I'm more than likely having surgery #2 in the very near future. Days like today while frustrated, crying, and angry, I just want to give up. I want to throw in the towel and say, "I've been trying and I'm done!" I'm so sick of the e,optional roller coaster I'm riding on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It's exhausting and frustrating...

So as I watched this video, I sobbed and sobbed because there are so many different mothers out there but WHY do I have to be this one?

1 comment:

Brian and April said...

Ash, I am so sorry that you and Jon are going through this. Infertility SUCKS. I'm praying for you guys that you can start your IVF up again soon and that your transfer will go great. Good luck.