Surprise!!

Last week Jon paid a visit to my school and brought cookies for my class. I thought nothing of it and then he started playing hangman with my class. The other 1st grade class, my principal, and my aide all came in. I was very curious to why they were also visiting. Then Jon put on the board a hangman message for me. He told the class that only I could play. So I started guessing letters and then as I figured it out I was speechless I looked around feeling nervous and sweaty and read the message out loud, "Mrs. Ellsworth, surprise you are going to Phoenix tonight!" I was so excited. My kids were confused and all they could say was how good I was at Hangman! :)

So we jumped on the flight and as soon as we landed the birthday partying didn't end until we flew home that Sunday. He got all my great friends together Friday night at Cafe Rio and surprised me with a party. Great friends, and good food! Then I got to go birthday shopping with my mom. Good thing my mom had an extra suitcase for me to take home. Then we also got to meet some new babies! We got to meet our niece Haylee Jo who is a month old and then Mason Heal. We are so excited for both our family and friends with new bundles of joys. Of course we got to spend some good time with our close friends the Romneys and play with their adorable one year old twin girls. They made us laugh and also made it hard for us to leave. But of course the time came that we had to leave but I was so grateful to spend the weekend with friends and family. Jon did it again this year and made my birthday really special.

He had also planned to take me to the Melting Pot on my actual birthday Dec. 14th but unfortunately while at school that day I started feeling really sick. So I came home and went straight to bed and we rescheduled for a few days later hoping I would feel better. It didn't go away but we still went anyway and enjoyed our time. But I'm home all this weekend laying low and trying to kick this crud I have! Yuck! Bad cough, sore throat, tired, everything! But I want to say thank you to my amazing Jon for planning an incredible birthday. Everything was great and Im thankful I got sick after it all was done! :) It was a great 27th birthday and will hope that my 27th year is full of birthday wishes for a better year than last!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so many things to be grateful for and I thought in the spirit of the season I would mention those things that are most important to me and that I am indeed thankful for.

*I'm thankful for my loving parents. They both have been a huge inspiration to me and have always been there when I needed them most. Randy and Rebecca you are the best!

*I'm thankful to be a teacher. There is no other career where you can make such a huge impact in children's lives and have fun while doing it. I love what I do!

*I'm thankful the gospel in my life. I'm grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

*I'm thankful for my great health and to be able to do so many things.

* I'm thankful for friends. I have some of the best friends in the world and I am lucky to have them each in my life!

* I'm thankful for 6 beautiful and talented nieces and nephews. I love you Logan, Sydnee, Kolton, Skylen, Zander, and my newest niece Haylee Jo!

* I'm thankful to have a guardian angel watching over me in heaven. I love you baby girl!

*I'm thankful for two amazing sisters. You have been there for me when I have needed you the most and have been examples to follow. I'm proud to be your baby sister.

*And, most importantly I'm thankful for my wonderful husband Jon. You are my everything. You have been by my side through thick and thin. We have grown so close these last few months and I'm so proud to be lucky enough to have such an amazing companion for all eternity. I love you!

What's going on?

So we have been pretty busy here in Colorado and I have been HORRIBLE with updating my blog. Here is a peek at our lives the last few months.

1. Back in October my family came out to celebrate my Mom's 60th birthday. We had a great time at a million dollar cabin in Breckinridge.

2. They added to my Girls Camp Director calling in Young Women to now I'm a YW advisor over special events including girls camp, YW in Excellence, and New Beginnings.

3. We dressed up as cowboy/farmers for Halloween. Actually I'm not quite sure what it was that we were!

4. I received a $1,000 teaching grant to buy a document camera and projector for my classroom.

5. My two LARGE ovarian cysts have disappeared into thin air! :)

6. My vitamin levels including my folic acid (which was the big one from our problem in August) is where it should be!

7. We can start trying for a baby again! :)

8. I finally got through Young Women in Excellence planning and we conquered it last week with a wonderful spiritual evening for both the girls and their parents. I'm so glad its over though!

9. I became an aunt to another beautiful baby girl. Haylee Jo Ellsworth was born last week. It's Jon's side of the family first grandchild. Congrats Jake and Kara.

10. My first graders did a great job with their Thanksgiving play. Glad that is over too! :)

11. I started putting up my Christmas decorations yesterday. I love this time of year and even though we are in an itty bitty apartment I still managed to make it look great!

12. I'm looking forward to 5 days off this week!!

13. My parents are coming out for Christmas and I CAN'T WAIT to see them. I've been missing my Arizona friends and family!

14. And wow I made it through a hole list without mentioning Jon's life. He is doing great too! He is a trooper I tell you putting up with me all the time! :)

In October We Remember Those Gone Too Soon

Today I read a status of a friend of mine that stated that "In October we remember all babies born sleeping or whom we have carried, but never met or those we have held, but could not take home or the ones that came home, but didn't stay."= I quickly posted it to my facebook and sat at my computer chair and just sat in tears as I prayed to my Heavenly Father to let my baby girl know that I miss her so much. Having her be a part of my husband and I's lives has changed us so drastically. We appreciate the littlest of things now, and we cling to each other more than ever because of her influence. Its been two months since our little girl returned back to heaven. Our lives are so different. Now I think twice when people ask, "Do you have any kids?" or "When are you guys going to start a family?" We have started our eternal family that will be together forever because of the plan of salvation. I am a mother even though I cannot hold and take care of my little one right now. The Savior is doing that for me until I can do it for the first time when we meet.

When I was pregnant back in July, my doctor said we would find out the sex of the baby near the first of October. Jon said we had to wait till his birthday on October 12th (which is today) because that would be the best present he could ask for. WEll things changed but he still has te best present he could ask for even though she isn't here to wish him happy birthday herself. I love you sweet baby girl! And for those of you reading this post please remember those friends or family members or even yourself who had a baby who was gone too soon!

We are still alive!

After a hell of a month of August (and yes I will use that terminology because it really was the worst month of mine and Jon's entire life) we have made it to a new month. September has already brought us better days and we are thankful for that. School has kept Jon and I very busy. Jon goes to night school Monday-Wednesday and we never see each other because he leaves before I get home from work and im in bed snoozing before he returns. We sometimes have Thursdays together. However lately it seems like I have had school functions or Jon has had dinners and study groups on that day. So we love our weekends because we actually get to enjoy each other's company. I've been getting used to the 1st graders. Its amazing the difference between 1st and 2nd grade. I have learned to have more patience and enjoy puppets by teaching these 6 year olds! We have teetered on the decision to buy a new car and trade in one of the Ellsworth's mobiles. We will have to buy used but are wanting a SUV that would be a good snow car. Especially since my school is out there! We've looked at 4-runners, highlanders, grand cherokees, hyundai santa fe, and the lexus rx300. We don't know yet which to buy and who knows if we even will. You know how men are... One moment they want to do something and the next it isn't a good idea. I will continue to keep my fingers crossed though. As far as the baby issue goes. Many have asked when can we start trying again? Well, my OB and my High Risk OBGYN want me to wait 2-3 months because I need to get the extra doses of folic acid into my system to help with the neuro tube defect of anencephaly that our little girl had. So we will hope that we will have a healthy baby boy or girl someday soon!

Gone Too Soon

“I will not leave you comfortless. … Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:18, 27.)

Our little angel was sent back to it's heavenly home early this morning after 12 weeks being with me. Words cannot express the feelings and emotions that Jon and I have had during this past weekend. It all started as a routine 12 week doctor visit to my ObGYN. She had found two right cysts on my ovaries during the 1st visit and she had ordered us to go and get an additional ultrasound from the radiology department Thursday evening. We followed what she said because we wanted to make sure the cysts weren't growing bigger and going to hurt me or the baby. While getting the ultrasound, Jon and I new something wasn't right but we continued to pray that everything would be okay. We were told to go home and that our doctor would call Friday morning with the results of the ultrasound to determine if the cysts had grown. Friday morning we received a call from the doctor and she mentioned that the cysts were now a minor issue. Now she was concerned because the ultrasound was showing either water on the brain or an undeveloped brain/skull from a condition called anencephaly. We were then sent to a high risk OB who would do another ultrasound to determine if in fact those were the case. While in that doctors office Friday afternoon we then found out our precious baby had in fact an undeveloped brain or what is called anencephaly. We both cried right there in the doctors office because we didn't know what to think or what was going to happen then. The doctor walked us through what the condition was and informed us that even if the baby continued to grow the brain wouldn't develop fully and therefore would die in the next few months. We had no other choice for my health or the baby's but to schedule a D & C to terminate the pregnancy at 12 1/2 weeks. After a weekend of heartbreak, anger, sadness, tears, frustration, prayers, and blessings we returned the precious angel to heaven and we felt much better after surgery today. While in recovery I felt like I had this weight lifted off my shoulders. Like a weekend of pain was now gone and I knew then that our angel was now looking down on us as a guardian angel. I'm so thankful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation. Jon and I know that we will see our first born baby one day in the celestial kingdom and our entire family will be together forever. So, until we meet again Little Angel remember your Mommy and Daddy love you so much and are thankful to have you!

Guess what?

Yes it's true this time that the Ellsworth's are expecting a new addition to their little family! We are so excited for this bundle of joy and can hardly wait until February. After trying for a year, and nothing happening it was to my surprise when I tested positive. Everything looks great. They did find two larger cysts on my right ovary that they are watching. I have had the usual morning sickness. It was really bad at first but after learning how to handle it, and making sure I was ALWAYS eating, things got better! I'm starting to feel much better now that I'm in my 10th week. I know it will get better from here on out. Now I just can't wait to see if its a Baby Boy Ellsworth or Baby Girl Ellsworth. I think its a boy, and Jon thinks its a girl. Guess we will see in October!

Feeling Refreshed

I haven't posted anything since my move to the Mile High City. So, I thought I would do one now and update you on all my new things going on in life besides living in a new state. Colorado is absolutely beautiful. The weather couldn't be anymore beautiful. Its sunny and nice during the day and we get these killer thunderstorms with tornado warnings at night. It's be so great to be with Jon again. I thought it would take time getting use to things again, but it has naturally been easy and wonderful to have my husband again! We found a brand new apartment right at the border of Parker and Aurora. So its in a great location and the best part is I can walk to Target. That is bad for Jon though lol! I went out to my school which is in Elizabeth and got keys and started dejunking my classroom. The room is great and even has windows. Which is a huge thing for me cause schools in Arizona don't have windows and they feel like jails! It will be a nice school. Different but I think it will be good. I've gotten to spend time with my oldest sister Erika and her family. It's great living close to them cause I haven't lived in the same state as Erika for like 15 years. So it's nice to have her and my two nieces and nephew nearby! I've gotten back into my running and eating nothing mode (well not nothing but I'm not eating sugar, fatty fried foods, and limited carbs). I feel great and want to get back into the shape I was in February when I did this. I also have a goal to finish the Book of Mormon by the time I go visit my family and friends in Salt Lake. Thats one month to read the entire book of mormon. 17 pages a day. So far so good. Well as you can see Denver is a great new start for Jon and I. We are refreshing our lives and loving the Mile High City!

The Best Job Ever

What other job will you work everyday with children and make differences in a couple dozen children's lives a year? What other job will you make such a close bond with other teammates and staff members? What other job do you get to feel appreciated by parents and family members of those you teach? Only a teacher can appreciate these great things every single day.

I have had the best 4 years as a teacher at 3 wonderful schools. I have met the most amazing people along my journey. I have made a very special place for all the 99 kids that I have taught in 2nd and 4th grade. My teaching began as a whirlwind. I graduated college and got married a month later. A month after that I started teaching for my very first year! That year was great but it was blurred because I was trying to stay above water. I was getting used to married life and teacher life all at the same time. I then moved to Arizona and began teaching 2nd grade at Brinton Elementary. I was able to stay there for the longest stretch of my years of teaching so far. A big two years! WOW! I learned so much from those teachers I worked with. I also made some great friends that I will keep for the rest of my life. I think I grew the most during those two years and I developed into a true teacher during my stay there. Last year against my wishes I was moved to Hale Elementary. I was moved due to lower enrollment at Brinton and somebody had to go. Unfortunately I had the least experience and I was pushed out. I luckily had kept in touch with an amazing woman name Sue who wanted me to come work with her two years prior but the path didnt lead me there for some reason. But last year it did lead me to Hale to work with Sue and her amazing staff. I made lifelong friends with the people I worked with. I connected with my kids more than I had before. I fell in love with the close knit community and the parents that served in my classroom. I fell absolutely in love with the hidden diamond in the desert that Sue Marshall the principal calls it. Nobody really knows where Hale is but those that do, know that it is the greatest school on Earth! So even though I went there not wanting to, I now know that there was a reason because it was the best year of teaching I've had.

I have had the two most emotional days as I said goodbye to my 24 amazing students, gave farwells to my amazing teammates and principal whom I love dearly, and closed the door to a classroom that I called home for the last year! I will miss Hale so much and those that have touched my life. I am excited for my journey to Colorado and know that no matter where I am teaching, it doesn't matter because I have the best job ever because no matter the school or place, I get to meet wonderful teachers and do the thing I love most... teach precious angels!

Girlfriends are priceless

Ever wonder what it would be like without the best girlfriends in the world? I tend not to think of that because without my friends I would be lost and without everything. My friends and family are my everything. When I moved to Arizona I moved into a small ward with the greatest group of girls who were so inviting and welcoming from day one. I remember meeting Casslyn, Nicole, Celeste, Amber, Brooke, Scarlett, Lindsay, Shannon, and many others. These girls were the most talented girls I had ever met. They did everything and many had kids in addition to everything they did perfectly. I found my spot with the Fairway Groves crew and then one Sunday a new girl moved into the ward. I was immediately connected to Colleen and since that day I met her we were best of friends. Colleen is one of the most amazing women I have ever met! She does everything and does everything well! When she wants something she goes and gets it. I think I grew close to Colleen because our husbands got along so well! Many times while with the Heals we would get laughing because me and Colleen's husband Dallas were just alike and would poke fun of everyone and then Colleen and my hubby Jon were more quieter and naive! We have had good times with the Heals and we will forever call them friends and hope to see them often while in Arizona or when they move to Washington.

After living in Mesa, we bought our house a few years ago in Gilbert. We moved into another great ward where everyone again was very welcoming. I didn't find my place in this ward as easy but it happened eventually. I met another great group of women including; Chelsi, Sarah, Sherrie, Jessica, Lindsay, Amy, Tatum, Becky, Andrea, and many others. These girls were so much fun! We hung out often and did some great Meadowview girls night outs! Then while serving with our spouses in primary a few of us girls got close. I met another incredible friend Brittani and from then on I knew I had met one of my best friends that I will have forever. I haven't had a friend who I am more like than that girl. We laugh and have so many things in common from our diet coke addiction, costa vida cravings, to our skipping church problems :) Britt is such a great girl and an amazing mom. I have watched her while spending these first few months with her beautiful twins and she is an incredible mother. I know we will keep in touch with Brittani and Brandon. Hopefully we can move back to Arizona so we can be close neighbors again!

There are friends that you have had since grade school. Serena, Emily, Amorette, Julienne, Chloe, Erin, and Amy will always be my closest friends. I love and honor these girls and I love that we have been through it all together. We went from little barbie doll lovers, to geeky movie makers, then end as team ugly members! I love you girls too and I will forever call you my best friends forever!

My sisters are also my closest friends. These two girls know everything about me and know every secret I have. Tiffany and Erika are so great and I look up to both of them so much. I feel honored to call them my sisters. We have always gotten along and the older we get the closer we become. No matter if I live close or far away from them I know I can count on them to listen and to help me when I'm in need.

Friendship is one thing that I believe everyone needs in this world. Friends make you wake up in the morning. Friends help bring a smile to your face. Friends are those people closest to us that we can tell anything to. Friends are the people we want to be with! I love my friends and I will forever consider each of you my dearest and loving friends!

My Dream Home

Since I am no longer living in my house, I often times miss decorating my own space. Everyone has a dream house and hopes that one day they will get that home in the future!

My dream kitchen would be a place where the family gathers and hangs out together. It must be open to the rest of the house. It will be near a HUGE great room.

I want a bedroom one day that has HUGE windows that look out on a bunch land!

and a place to relax and unwind.

One Day I will have a precious daughter to doll up a cute nursery for. I just love girly girl things. I cant wait!

Look what I found inside my Easter basket!

So the Wednesday before Easter I was fast asleep getting my rest for the busy field trip the next morning when at midnight I heard, "Ash.... Wake up!" I kept saying in my sleep, "What? WHAT? What do you want?" Much to my surprise my husband was standing next to my bed trying to surprise me. I wasn't waking up to easily and then finally I woke up and saw someone standing there. I was still partly asleep because I didn't yell and freak out because some strange man was in my bedroom. I sat there asking, "What is going on?" Finally when I realized it was Jon my response was, "Get over here and let me touch you to make sure I'm not dreaming!" Nope, I wasn't dreaming and my husband was there before my eyes. I then yelled and started jumping up and down! Jon came to surprise me Easter weekend and it was the best weekend ever. Jon visited family and friends Thursday while I was at school. Friday I took the day off and hung out with Jon and we shopped around San Tan Mall, I got a pedicure, and then we met our good friends Brittani and Brandon for some dinner at Chillis and baby time (as Jon calls it) holding their adorable twin girls. Then Saturday we watched conference and had a BBQ at his grandparents. Jon joined the guys in his family for priesthood, while me and my sister-in-law Kara did some shopping and ate yummy Cafe Rio. Then Sunday we laid low, watch conference with Jon's family then came to my parents and celebrated Easter with my parents and sister's family. It was a great Easter and like I said it was the best Easter surprise I could've been given!

A Mile High Spring Break

Last week I spent my Spring Break in Denver visiting my long distance hubby. We had such a blast being lazy TOGETHER. Together is the keyword because since we see each other once a month we don't care what we do, all we care about is being together. It was an amazing week. We didn't do too much but we had a blast laughing TOGETHER! Our week included sleeping in, becoming pros at Tony Hawk Pro Skater, and eating out and shopping tons! I love Jon so much and it has been so hard being apart for these 6 months but I am SOOOO excited to move to Colorado. That place is beautiful and I can't wait to start our next chapter in our life.

Okay so Jon is renting this 400 square feet ghetto apartment and I couldn't resist showing off his bachelor pad. He trully is living it up at "Hella Terra" (its called Bella Terra but that's what Jon calls home). What do you expect for 400 dollars a month? Right?

This is the lovely kitchen. I can basically reach across the entire length of the kitchen.
The security in this place is top notch!

This is the entire apartment. He has room for a full size bed, small desk, tv stand, and loveseat sofa. I am embarrassed with how messy he is without his wife picking up after him. (Excuse the towels laying out to dry all over in the picture)

Again where is that maid that does his cleaning and laundry? Oh yeah she is still in Arizona. :)

Basically there is no room for me in Hella Terra. We better hope and pray we find a better place and a good job for me so we can move out of that hole!




Having some fun in the bachelor pad's bathroom. Again where is that maid fairy to clean his messy place?

Baby Ellsworth

And you are wondering why Jon and I haven't had kids yet? This is the reason!


PS. I bet my post title made lots of you curious thinking I was pregnant with Baby Ellsworth. Not yet!!!

2nd Honeymoon

So this past weekend I was able to go visit the love of my life in Denver. It has been the longest 6 weeks of my life without Jon. We had so much fun together and just cherished every moment we had. He planned the entire weekend from shopping, exploring downtown Denver, to dinner at Rodizio Grill, breakfast, and lunches, seeing my sister and family,riding the lightrail everywhere, to even taking me to a movie (for those of you who know Jon, he hates going to the movie. So it was big of him to take me to Valentine's Day). It was the best weekend and I didnt want it to end. I can't even explain what this long distance phase we are going through has done for our relationship. It is the hardest thing to go through and I would never have anyone go through the same thing. However, it has made our relationship so much stronger and you realize just how important your love in your life really is. You appreciate each other and the things you do together even more than before. I love you sweetheart and there's only 23 more days till I see you again!! I can't wait!

Gone and Single

So it has been a week since Jon moved to Denver and it has been so hard. The first few days I sobbed and sobbed. I told Jon when we decided to do this that I would be so tough and it would be easy. I thought he would be the one having the hard time, but I was totally wrong. I guess once your love is gone you realize really how much you love them. It's been quite an adjustment to not have him around all the time. Our relationship now consists of a few phonecalls each day talking about what we did today, and monthly visits back and forth. It will be rough but I know we will get through it. Jon has been very positive through it all. He has been the tough one. The first day or two I thought he was going to break down but he did so good and he continues to have such a positive attitude. Im thankful for that cause it helps me move on and push forward. I'm also thankful for my wonderful family and friends who have helped Jon and I through this. My sister Erika and her family who live in Denver have taken Jon under their wings and have entertained him and taken good care of him. My great parents have also taken good care of me. They have been great hosts and I thank them for letting me live with them for the next 5 months! My friends have been the BEST through it all. They all call and invite me to do things even if that means being the third wheel with their husbands and families (Thanks Britt!!) I love my friends and family and I'm thankful to have you all. So it will be a long 5 months but because of them and a great husband to look forward to seeing again soon, I will get through it!