A New Year....A New Blog Post

So I was in Arizona and I had 3 people ask me why I haven't updated my BLOG in SOOOOOOO long. Since March my life has been so busy. With a new church calling as Young Women president, added responsibilities at school, and trying to find time to be with Jon... my life has flown by and there are many things that I have neglected. One being my blog. So now with the New Year happing in one day, I have made a goal to get back to blogging. So hope you are all ready to hear more from the Ellsworth's, because the Ellsworth's are back!!

You're A Special Little Spirit

A young lady who ended losing one of her precious babies to anencephaly like Jon and I's baby had, sent me this beautiful poem and I needed to share this with you all. It touched my heart and I know even if you haven't lost a child you will still find meaning in this.

You're A Special Little Spirit

"You're a Special Little Spirit" the all great Master said,
As he gently caressed the curly blond hair of the Little Spirit's head.
"You need to go to Earth to spend some time, you know,
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn, to grow."
The Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed her head,
And from her eye a tear did steal and down her cheek it shed.
"Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here,
You'll hardly know you've been gone.
You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye."
And he wiped the tear and gently kissed
His Little Spirit goodbye.

"I'm back," the Little Spirit whispered
as she climbed onto her Master's knee,
And the Master said,
"I told you, you would not be long away from me."
And then, the Lord, He noticed still
another tear welled in her eye.
"Why are you so sad, Little Spirit,
Whatever should make you cry?"
"I'm glad I'm back," the Spirit said,
"but Master you must surely know,
When your angel came to get me, I didn't want to go.
I know you said you needed me
and that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little loner earthly trial?"

The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from His knee,
He firmly took the little hand and said, "Come walk with me."
The Little Spirit and her Lord walked slowly hand in hand,
As the Master explained Her special part
in the great and marvelous plan.
"Now Lord, I don't mean to argue,
I understand you need me home.
But I left in such a hurry,
I left everyone hurting and so alone.
I didn't let my earthly parents know
how much I loved them so
I was much too small to tell them,
Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, and in a way so do I.
Not getting to share any more than we did,
how can I ever tell them why?"

"Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy
with the message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore,
I'll watch over your loved ones there.
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong and helping hand.
I'll content and give peace to their aching hearts,
so they will understand.
The Little Spirit looked up at her Master and said
"Thank you for explaining it to me,
And could you please tell them I'm safe and happy
and that someday they'll be here with me."
"Yes." said the Lord with a smile and a nod,
"I'll tell them all that I can."

Then the others came to see the Little Spirit,
as the Lord let go of her hand.
He said, "I'll tell them you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
that I needed the warmth of your perfect soul
to keep Heaven from getting cold."

Cheers for 2011

2010 was a crazy year for Jon and I. As we celebrated New Years Eve last night and brought in the new year we remembered all the heartache, loneliness, and sadness we experienced. Without a doubt 2010 was our hardest year yet. We started out 2010 being seperated by 600 miles while Jon started our Denver adventure. I had to stay in Arizona to finish out my teaching contract. It was so hard being away from Jon for 5 months. I will NEVER do that again! We then got together in the summer and found out that we were expecting our first baby. We were delighted by the surprising news and couldn't wait for February 18th, 2011 to come because thats when we were going to meet our little girl! Things took a turn for the worst in August and after being 13 weeks pregnant I had to end the short journey I had with our little girl. That was the hardest thing we have done. But it has made us grow so close and realize the wonderful things we have. We are grateful to have a little girl waiting for us in heaven and know she has touched our hearts in ways that we can't even explain.

2010 wasn't a complete downer. We had highlights as well. Jon started graduate school at University of Colorado Denver studying healthcare administration and accounting. We moved to a great place and have made wonderful friends in Denver. I found a teaching job and count my many blessings for that because as many of you know teaching jobs are not being found in this economy. So we can't say nothing great happened this past year. But we do know that 2011 will bring us joy and we both have a good feeling about this great new year that is upon us. We look forward to hopefully getting another opportunity to have another baby and for the chance to love that boy or girl with all that we have. We will find out where Jon will do his residency in 2012 so we can plan our future. We also plan on travelling a bit to see family and friends. We also know that 2011 will bring surprises and we can't wait to see what it has in store for us. So here is to 2011and the wonderful year it will be for us and for all of you! Cheers!!

Surprise!!

Last week Jon paid a visit to my school and brought cookies for my class. I thought nothing of it and then he started playing hangman with my class. The other 1st grade class, my principal, and my aide all came in. I was very curious to why they were also visiting. Then Jon put on the board a hangman message for me. He told the class that only I could play. So I started guessing letters and then as I figured it out I was speechless I looked around feeling nervous and sweaty and read the message out loud, "Mrs. Ellsworth, surprise you are going to Phoenix tonight!" I was so excited. My kids were confused and all they could say was how good I was at Hangman! :)

So we jumped on the flight and as soon as we landed the birthday partying didn't end until we flew home that Sunday. He got all my great friends together Friday night at Cafe Rio and surprised me with a party. Great friends, and good food! Then I got to go birthday shopping with my mom. Good thing my mom had an extra suitcase for me to take home. Then we also got to meet some new babies! We got to meet our niece Haylee Jo who is a month old and then Mason Heal. We are so excited for both our family and friends with new bundles of joys. Of course we got to spend some good time with our close friends the Romneys and play with their adorable one year old twin girls. They made us laugh and also made it hard for us to leave. But of course the time came that we had to leave but I was so grateful to spend the weekend with friends and family. Jon did it again this year and made my birthday really special.

He had also planned to take me to the Melting Pot on my actual birthday Dec. 14th but unfortunately while at school that day I started feeling really sick. So I came home and went straight to bed and we rescheduled for a few days later hoping I would feel better. It didn't go away but we still went anyway and enjoyed our time. But I'm home all this weekend laying low and trying to kick this crud I have! Yuck! Bad cough, sore throat, tired, everything! But I want to say thank you to my amazing Jon for planning an incredible birthday. Everything was great and Im thankful I got sick after it all was done! :) It was a great 27th birthday and will hope that my 27th year is full of birthday wishes for a better year than last!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so many things to be grateful for and I thought in the spirit of the season I would mention those things that are most important to me and that I am indeed thankful for.

*I'm thankful for my loving parents. They both have been a huge inspiration to me and have always been there when I needed them most. Randy and Rebecca you are the best!

*I'm thankful to be a teacher. There is no other career where you can make such a huge impact in children's lives and have fun while doing it. I love what I do!

*I'm thankful the gospel in my life. I'm grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

*I'm thankful for my great health and to be able to do so many things.

* I'm thankful for friends. I have some of the best friends in the world and I am lucky to have them each in my life!

* I'm thankful for 6 beautiful and talented nieces and nephews. I love you Logan, Sydnee, Kolton, Skylen, Zander, and my newest niece Haylee Jo!

* I'm thankful to have a guardian angel watching over me in heaven. I love you baby girl!

*I'm thankful for two amazing sisters. You have been there for me when I have needed you the most and have been examples to follow. I'm proud to be your baby sister.

*And, most importantly I'm thankful for my wonderful husband Jon. You are my everything. You have been by my side through thick and thin. We have grown so close these last few months and I'm so proud to be lucky enough to have such an amazing companion for all eternity. I love you!

What's going on?

So we have been pretty busy here in Colorado and I have been HORRIBLE with updating my blog. Here is a peek at our lives the last few months.

1. Back in October my family came out to celebrate my Mom's 60th birthday. We had a great time at a million dollar cabin in Breckinridge.

2. They added to my Girls Camp Director calling in Young Women to now I'm a YW advisor over special events including girls camp, YW in Excellence, and New Beginnings.

3. We dressed up as cowboy/farmers for Halloween. Actually I'm not quite sure what it was that we were!

4. I received a $1,000 teaching grant to buy a document camera and projector for my classroom.

5. My two LARGE ovarian cysts have disappeared into thin air! :)

6. My vitamin levels including my folic acid (which was the big one from our problem in August) is where it should be!

7. We can start trying for a baby again! :)

8. I finally got through Young Women in Excellence planning and we conquered it last week with a wonderful spiritual evening for both the girls and their parents. I'm so glad its over though!

9. I became an aunt to another beautiful baby girl. Haylee Jo Ellsworth was born last week. It's Jon's side of the family first grandchild. Congrats Jake and Kara.

10. My first graders did a great job with their Thanksgiving play. Glad that is over too! :)

11. I started putting up my Christmas decorations yesterday. I love this time of year and even though we are in an itty bitty apartment I still managed to make it look great!

12. I'm looking forward to 5 days off this week!!

13. My parents are coming out for Christmas and I CAN'T WAIT to see them. I've been missing my Arizona friends and family!

14. And wow I made it through a hole list without mentioning Jon's life. He is doing great too! He is a trooper I tell you putting up with me all the time! :)

In October We Remember Those Gone Too Soon

Today I read a status of a friend of mine that stated that "In October we remember all babies born sleeping or whom we have carried, but never met or those we have held, but could not take home or the ones that came home, but didn't stay."= I quickly posted it to my facebook and sat at my computer chair and just sat in tears as I prayed to my Heavenly Father to let my baby girl know that I miss her so much. Having her be a part of my husband and I's lives has changed us so drastically. We appreciate the littlest of things now, and we cling to each other more than ever because of her influence. Its been two months since our little girl returned back to heaven. Our lives are so different. Now I think twice when people ask, "Do you have any kids?" or "When are you guys going to start a family?" We have started our eternal family that will be together forever because of the plan of salvation. I am a mother even though I cannot hold and take care of my little one right now. The Savior is doing that for me until I can do it for the first time when we meet.

When I was pregnant back in July, my doctor said we would find out the sex of the baby near the first of October. Jon said we had to wait till his birthday on October 12th (which is today) because that would be the best present he could ask for. WEll things changed but he still has te best present he could ask for even though she isn't here to wish him happy birthday herself. I love you sweet baby girl! And for those of you reading this post please remember those friends or family members or even yourself who had a baby who was gone too soon!