Gone Too Soon

“I will not leave you comfortless. … Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:18, 27.)

Our little angel was sent back to it's heavenly home early this morning after 12 weeks being with me. Words cannot express the feelings and emotions that Jon and I have had during this past weekend. It all started as a routine 12 week doctor visit to my ObGYN. She had found two right cysts on my ovaries during the 1st visit and she had ordered us to go and get an additional ultrasound from the radiology department Thursday evening. We followed what she said because we wanted to make sure the cysts weren't growing bigger and going to hurt me or the baby. While getting the ultrasound, Jon and I new something wasn't right but we continued to pray that everything would be okay. We were told to go home and that our doctor would call Friday morning with the results of the ultrasound to determine if the cysts had grown. Friday morning we received a call from the doctor and she mentioned that the cysts were now a minor issue. Now she was concerned because the ultrasound was showing either water on the brain or an undeveloped brain/skull from a condition called anencephaly. We were then sent to a high risk OB who would do another ultrasound to determine if in fact those were the case. While in that doctors office Friday afternoon we then found out our precious baby had in fact an undeveloped brain or what is called anencephaly. We both cried right there in the doctors office because we didn't know what to think or what was going to happen then. The doctor walked us through what the condition was and informed us that even if the baby continued to grow the brain wouldn't develop fully and therefore would die in the next few months. We had no other choice for my health or the baby's but to schedule a D & C to terminate the pregnancy at 12 1/2 weeks. After a weekend of heartbreak, anger, sadness, tears, frustration, prayers, and blessings we returned the precious angel to heaven and we felt much better after surgery today. While in recovery I felt like I had this weight lifted off my shoulders. Like a weekend of pain was now gone and I knew then that our angel was now looking down on us as a guardian angel. I'm so thankful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation. Jon and I know that we will see our first born baby one day in the celestial kingdom and our entire family will be together forever. So, until we meet again Little Angel remember your Mommy and Daddy love you so much and are thankful to have you!